We break here for a moment of levity from a friend of the firm who composed this list of all-too-familiar work/life balance issues faced, particularly, by remote and out-based workers. Hope you find comfort in the company…
20. When you feel like you should turn on your “Out Of Office” if you aren’t going to work on a Saturday.
19. When a vendor says he shouldn’t schedule a meeting for noon Eastern because a lot of his staff go to lunch and you laugh loudly and then you realize he’s serious.
18. When you discover it’s quicker to tally the hours you work each day by simply subtracting your sleep hours from 24.
17. When you tally the hours spent “clearing a few projects” the weekend before your vacation week, hours spent “just responding to essential emails” during your vacation week, and “just putting my game plan together for next week” during the weekend after your vacation week, subtract them from 40 and get a negative number. And then feel like you are cheating for turning in zero vacation hours to HR for your vacation week because seriously, 40 hours is not a work week.
16. When you fantasize about taking vacation time to get some project work done.
15. When you look forward to holidays because it means you can get some work done without all those co-worker distractions.
14. When your son can’t seem to remember whether Sunday is a regular work day for you or not.
13. When you apologize to one of your staff for not being able to talk at that moment because you are supposed to be in another meeting. And it is Sunday.
12. When you eschew the two-ingredient baby green salad for lunch in favor of your usual handful of tortilla chips and spoonful of peanut butter because rinsing the salad bowl afterwards would make you late for your next meeting.
11. When a co-worker asks you if you can attend a meeting at 9:00 and you have to ask AM or PM.
10. When you schedule your mom in for a 30 minute slot two weeks from now so you can chat.
9. When you prepare an agenda for that call.
8. When you’ve heard yourself say this more than five times: “I have to hop off this call now because I just got to my therapist’s office.”
7. When one of your staff emails you to let you know he won’t be working tonight because he is going to the grocery store.
6. When you see a plastic bin at IKEA and note to yourself that it would make an excellent bus tub for your office.
5. When you regularly fantasize during conference calls about vacuuming the house.
4. When “make dentist appointment” has been on your to-do list for more than two years.
3. When your new extended-life laptop battery arrives and you get excited because you it means you can work ALL THE TIME EVERYWHERE FOREVER NO MATTER WHAT.
2. When you stop drinking water during the day because of all the wasted bathroom time.
1. When you divide your work day into two sections: “Before Alcohol” and “During Alcohol.”